High School and beyond

Yesterday my youngest started High School! Her father and I sat on the phone for a little while and wondered back and forth if that meant we had no more babies? I don’t think he was ready to commit to that belief while I’ve been under that assumption for most of the summer, listening to her schedule as she flits here and there for all of her social engagements. Tuesdays and Thursdays it was Summer volleyball, the first Wednesday of the month babysitting at her friends church for a social group, Wednesdays and Friday’s reffing for Bungee soccer and this was all in the evening after being an assistant coach for our school summer sports camp. The girl was a little busy.

Flash forward to Monday and the “official” start of the school year, it didn’t really seem all that different. I do say official since she spent the entire summer there during the day and for the two weeks between the end of sports camp and the start of school she spent most days there anyway for varsity volleyball practice and helping out with the extended childcare program, not to mention anything else the teachers or staff might ask her to do – since she’s one of those kids 🙂

Last night we waited until after 6:30 before either of the girls got home, once there they immediately went to their respective “holes” – read rooms, and didn’t come out for another few hours. One to inform me that she didn’t need dinner – she had made herself a sandwich while we were taking the dog for a walk and the other to inform me she was starving and when were we going to eat…….

Nope don’t think we have any babies here!

I think part of the issues with my ex is this is his life – these girls and school, sports practices and hanging out are what he lives for, add in a swing shift job that leaves his days free and evenings completely unavailable for social activities, it lends itself to an all encompassing life of our girls. He’s taken the entire metamorphosis into young adults very hard and as we watch the baby slip away into what I think is a pretty awesome although sometimes perfectly normal crappy teenager he rebels farther and farther and clings to what he wishes them to still be. Is that a father thing? or is that because of the divorce? or is it just Joel being Joel?

I wonder sometimes if it’s just the dynamic that I have with the kids – the oldest has always been independent and introverted, I knew what went on in her life but only because it was necessary to tell me or I found out from others as I volunteered for everything under the sun to show her I had interest in her (always hard with an introvert). Our youngest has always been my baby to this day she still comes in and snuggles in bed with me on Saturday mornings – she tells me about what she’s doing – although lately I have had to pull teeth to get it out of her (crappy teenager) and aside from an unfortunate incident a few months back where I realized she had crossed over to being a teenager (read – she got embarrassed by something I had done in front of her friends) and my feelings were hurt, I’ve gotten back on the road of the teenage mother and we’ve been fine.

But even as I type this I know that it’s not totally true – I still have a baby and she’s sometimes more than a crappy teenager; as she come into the room scared this morning when we had another aftershock from Sunday’s earthquake – and slept in my bed with the dogs after I left for work. Or how Sunday night she lingered at the kitchen door a little too long so I would ask her what was up, turning to look into her face as it crumbled into tears – Her boyfriend had broken up with her (yes her first, no mom was not pleased and no it didn’t even last a moon cycle). As we sat on the floor her crying bitterly, me holding on for dear life trying to remember how much more love felt like the end of the world, and the dogs frantically trying to make one of their humans stop watering I decided maybe we’re always both child and “adult” be it young or really grown up. Maybe that’s why I still call my mother when Steve or really anyone hurts my feelings, and why she annoys the crap out of me when she tries to tell me how to run my life (mom I love you :)).

I sat there on the kitchen floor wanting to kill a sixteen year old boy for breaking my baby’s heart, and at the same time – rejoiced that she would still come to me for comfort.

Yesterday my youngest started high school………wish me luck!



  1. weight2lose2013 says:

    I see my kids changing and it can make me feel a bit melancholy. Sure, they have that crappy teenager thing going on right now, but it’s part of their journey. I guess that was my realization. As much as I’ve been and will continue to be, in their lives, it’s THEIR lives. I let go a little more each year. BTW, my oldest started high school today. Good times. lol


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