I officially have no more babies

OK this title might be a stretch, especially since I call my four legged children my babies regularly. But, tonight we will be attending my youngest “upright” child’s 8th grade promotion ceremony. And I’m sorry for those that read this that have a high school or college grad, this does not compare but she is still my “baby” and I am proud of her accomplishments.

My ex and I were talking about it as he was driving to work this morning, he feels old. Funny, her birthday over the weekend didn’t or my reminder to him the other day that had we stayed married we would have celebrated our 17th wedding anniversary this year. No it was the though of our daughter crossing the stage and receiving a piece of paper that makes him feel old. Me? you ask – naw I’m good. As Rob mentioned the other day, most of the time he doesn’t have time to think about those types of things, and neither do I, but between her birthday last Friday and her sisters High School graduation on Thursday I’ve moved into emotionally unavailable for self preservations sake.

Its funny I always tell people I only age because my children age, but no I’m rethinking this with, “I’ve put my age on hold for a little while”, that way I’m no longer bound by my children, my mother or dear friends and their aging process, I will just stay the same me for a spell. I might startle when I look in a mirror every once and a while but for the most part, how often do we spend time really looking at ourselves anyway?

I digress – as I count the minute until I head home and start this momentous evening, I really wonder if this evening will bother me. Don’t get me wrong, I am a proud mama, and will cheer and clap the loudest for my baby girl, and I will cry, but I will I cry sad tears? or tear of joy? Will I mourn the loss of my baby girl or celebrate the beautiful young woman she becomes?

I guess the answers will come tonight and be sure I’ll let you know but if this afternoons text sheds any light we may be in trouble.

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I tell you I got a little chocked up from that.

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Update the next morning:

I had ever intention of finishing this post off last night, unfortunately we got home late last night and there were lots of tears (not from me), about life and the emotional day and just generally being tired that we all crashed into bed and fell fast asleep.

I am proud to say that aside from a few “wet eyed” moments I did not cry or blubber, through the event, and even after when consoling the very tired “freshman” I kept my cool and got her calmed down and into bed. On the flip side, by that point I do have to say I was walking around like a zombie and you could have smacked me with a lead balloon for all I know.

All in all I thought it was a great night and really look forward to her high school years.

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She decided to wear my shoes last night, it was a little disconcerting with how much taller she is with me when wearing them.

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Happy Wednesday!

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