Wednesday Weigh in

Happy Wednesday to everyone – I hope it finds you well. It’s raining here in the Bay Area today; I do love the rain when I don’t have to be out in it. Although I was caught without an umbrella yesterday and I regretted it deeply.
So I got on the scale this morning and confirmed a sinking suspicion I have had recently. I have gained weight this week! It’s amazing how much we work to get it off, but it just slides right on doesn’t it? I’ve realized a something recently – well re-realized. It’s easy to be fat, and I’m really good at it, I’d love to say that quitting smoking put on all of this extra weight, but it didn’t, I’d love to say its hormonal or my thyroid or even the medication that I’m taking. It may be a few of those things but again the bottom line is – It’s easier to be fat, than it is to put the work in and see slow results over a long period of time.
Depressed yet? Me too! I struggle every day to force myself to get to the gym and fail, I fight with myself about getting up from my desk and move around for a little while, and fail, I tell myself regularly that I don’t need to eat something I’m just bored or emotional, and fail. This is easier; it’s less scary and leads to no disappointment because you have no expectation to start with.
Really depressed now? Yup me too!
Now don’t worry I’m not falling down a rabbit hole of despair, I’m not typing this one handed while shoving an éclair in my mouth, although that does sound lovely at the moment. I haven’t given over my midday meal to the vending machine –Snyder’s Pretzel, Mrs. Fields Chocolate chip cookie and a Coke -, I ate a healthy if not slightly boring frozen meal – I do need to switch my lunch time options up a bit. No, I actually had this conversation with myself a few days ago and am working on coming out the other side. I have a goal, and a plan, I eat relatively healthy throughout the day and know what my triggers are at night, I have a number of exercise options that I can be utilizing daily, including a very expensive gym membership and very free dog walking. There are just a few things holding me back from making this the trifecta approach of weight loss and finally shedding the baggage and weight I’ve been hold onto for the past few years.
Habit and Fear
Let me say it again – Habit and Fear – that’s why being fat is so easy. I am a creature of routine, it’s far easier to come home sit on the couch, watch a little TV, cook dinner, watch a little more TV – eat some more, go to bed late and wake up tired at late so there’s no time to work out, and start the cycle over again at the office. And why wouldn’t I be afraid, I’ve tried a few times to really work at it and get out there an exercise and fail because of health issues or medications or plain old laziness. Habit and Fear.
Today I am fighting habit and fear, I have set a timer on my phone to get up and move every hour – even if it’s standing while on a conference call. I have actually completed my 30 day challenges for the day, and if I’m really lucky I’ll get a walk in before I leave the office – and not just to go get coffee J. If I can just keep this up, then this will be the new habit and I won’t have to be afraid of the result.
What’s holding you back?

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